Frozen Moment When One Sees What is on the End of the Fork. Sham Brands, Wright County, Wrong Way to Produce!

How many of you think ONE HUGE DISGUSTING DIRTY CHICKEN FACTORY should be able to sell 338 million eggs under the names "Sunshine" “Mountain Dairy” “Farm Fresh” “Shoreland” “Dutch Farms” "Sun Valley" and "Pacific Coast" ?

William S. Burroughs wrote Naked Lunch, but Jack Kerouac gave him the title, saying "The title means exactly what the words say: naked lunch, a frozen moment when everyone sees what is on the end of every fork." Well folks, it's 50 years later but here is your frozen moment.

Not only does the horrendous poop-filled machine egg factory sell under sham pleasant “happy” brand names, The NY Times reports that Wright County Eggs has “had run - ins with regulators over poor or unsafe working conditions, environmental violations, the harassment of workers, and the hiring of illegal immigrants.”

It’s well past the time to bring back the local farm folks.

The Perfect Headstand in Ohio 100 Years Ago

Good work, Maine Burrell from Sydney, Ohio!
Large photograph with newspaper clipping of event. Circa 1920?

The Secret of All Along The Watchtower and Bob Dylan

The Greatest Rock song ever written is without a doubt "All Along the Watchtower" by Bob Dylan. Never mind that Jimi Hendrix did it better and Bob has been playing Jimi's version ever since. It has confounded critics for decades, but a simple trick makes the whole song and narrative make perfect sense. Read on.

For 40 years, when Bob Dylan plays "All Along the Watchtower" (as he is now in his tour of the States...travel on, Minstrel boy) It has become THE showcase for whoever has the honor of being Dylan's lead guitar player. Robbie Robertson was first and set the standard...well, maybe Mike Bloomfield. This year's model is again Charlie Sexton, and sexy he is...Handsome as any rock and roller can be, square-jawed, slim...and girls just drop their panties overboard for Charlie. I hope Papa Dylan gets him on the bus safe every night.

The song was written up in Woodstock in 1967-1968 when Bob and The Band were living together, basically taking advantage of a well-earned vacation and creating the Basement Tapes (No, not the sullied and tainted CD called the Basement Tapes for sale on Amazon) The 6 hours of songs Garth Hudson recorded which have only seen light through bootleggers. It looks like I have waited so long they will NEVER come out on a real disc now...since a sequence of bits and bytes suffices for music today. Digital dross wouldn't have scared Garth. He is a natural born tinkerer and could have recorded the songs on a pimped up Morse Code machine if they asked him to. For some reason, I think Garth Hudson knows ways to transmit music we haven't even discovered yet.

The point is that the greatest rock song was immediately transformed from a quiet, acoustic fairy tale into a raging howl of hell-fire and steam by Jimi Hendrix, and I can't think of a more effective cover, one which literally convinced the writer it was better, and so MUCH better he added the later version to his permanent repertoire. Let me tell you...to improve on anything Dylan does is no small feat.

But the post is about the song, Cribbed here from Bob Dylan.com and no, I am not selling ringtones. This, children, is a song.

All Along The Watchtower By Bob Dylan

“There must be some way out of here,” said the joker to the thief
“
There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief

Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth

None of them along the line know what any of it is worth”
“No reason to get excited,” the thief, he kindly spoke

“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke

But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate

So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late”
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view

While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl

Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl
Copyright © 1968 by Dwarf Music; renewed 1996 by Dwarf Music


So the Secret? The mysterious secret of the greatest rock song ever written, a standard for the last 45 years? It is simple... Dylan reversed the paragraphs, or phrases. The "correct" lyrics, and the secret of the song's mystery is revealed when placed in proper order.
All Along The Watchtower By Bob Dylan (Reversed Phases)
All along the watchtower, princes kept the view

While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too
Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl

Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl
“There must be some way out of here,” said the joker to the thief

"There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief

Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth

None of them along the line know what any of it is worth”
“No reason to get excited,” the thief, he kindly spoke

“There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke

But you and I, we’ve been through that, and this is not our fate

So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late”
Remember, it was Dylan himself who said "the first one now will later be last"

So there you go....still plenty of room for guitar pyrotechnics, and we won't be as confused as the confused joker any longer. Simple as that. While listening to Hendrix, you might take a second to realize this is a trio...all the sounds are being created live by three musicians and only ONE of them from Mars.

Oh. one other thing...there should not be any confusion what the song is about in either version. It is about recording contracts, managers and an artist being taken advantage of. Again...Simple!

by Jim Linderman

How to TWEET for REAL! (I'm not kidding...) Bird Calls

Want to learn how to "Tweet" for REAL? Here is your chance, and you'll thank me later. Click to this link to select and listen to hundreds of BIRDS! I'm serious...my favorites are the Owls, and you'll be amazed how many different species and sounds there are. Thank you Mr. Peepers! (Wally Cox for you young'uns...you know...Marlon Brando's "roommate") True, look it up. I am afraid the site does not include the legendary "purple-shafted-nut-slinger" which caused so much hilarity on the old Dean Martin show (again...something I couldn't make up) So EASY even LARRY KING could do it! "So tell me...what's this "Tweet" thing?"

To HEAR the BIRD OF YOUR CHOICE click on the eNature.com Site HERE. You'll be late for work, promise!

Review Jim Linderman The Painted Backdrop: Behind the Sitter in American Tintype Photography 1860-1920 by Joey Lin

Review of Jim Linderman The Painted Backdrop by Joey Lin Anonymous Works




View Original Review with Additional photographs HERE


Slogging through the dross of daily online auctions, I'm used to being disappointed 99% of the time. Cyber-picking can be a sort of self-flagellation, but when you find a hidden jewel the payoff makes it all worth it. I sort of feel the same way with self-published books. The theory is good, with online sites like Lulu and Blurb giving us all the ability to become published authors. Unfortunately, as I've browsed through the majority of self-published titles available, most are of the "these are my best Aruba shots" photo books that, while sometimes beautiful, leave me a little unfulfilled.

Fortunately there are others, like Jim Linderman, who look at the technology as an opportunity to expose the hidden corners of old (sometimes weird) America. Like Jimmy Allen's seminal book on lynching in America, Linderman has a knack for discovering untold stories and introducing them to a wider audience. His latest book, The Painted Backdrop: Behind the Sitter in American Tintype Photography 1860-1920, tells the previously untold story of 19th century painters who painted the backdrops of the then ubiquitous tintype photos. It's an incredibly interesting history and you suddenly find yourself looking for the subject behind the subject.

The Painted Backdrop is one of two of Linderman's books currently in the running for a People's Choice Award in the Photography category of Blurb.com. What's great is that for a limited time you'll be able to preview and read the entire books.

The Painted Backdrop Behind the Sitter in American Tintype Photography 1860-1920
Click Here to preview the book and vote!

Camera Club Girls Bettie Page and her Friends: The Work of Rudolph Rossi
Click Here to preview the book and vote!

If you like them (which I'm sure you will), make sure to put a vote in before August 20th!

Art of Sandra Ford Comics or Fine Art? Trixiefishstabber Draws an Unearthly Line

Visual artists have four careers...early, middle, mature and posthumous. Blue chip? Or far more likely...no chip at all.

Trixie Fishstabber, also known as Sandra Ford had a good start once, but before progressing to the next stage she stopped to raise children. She drew, she sold, she quit, she raised children, and now draws again. So can she skip a step? Maybe, just maybe, the delay in her career allows her to skip right to mature, and yet retain the fresh, experimental, child-like traits of an emerging artist.

No thesaurus can really describe her work. It is certainly "other-worldly" or more appropriately "no-worldly." Ethereal as ethereal can be, and in an endearing way. These are not threatening images, but at every glance they are odd, and remain so after seeing a good number of her drawings. Sandra Ford seems both at ease with nature and a world which doesn't exist, and she excels in sharing her personal visions of a world which lives somewhere in between. One can debate the meaning of "visionary" or "self-taught" as Sandra does in our interview, but I do not think one can question the popularity, appeal and acceptance this artist is likely to receive.

Every work shown here is pencil on paper, though she also paints and has experimented with other materials. Most are quite small, but she has worked larger. She sells her work on the web and social networks, and it is not uncommon for her to receive an extraordinary number of "thumbs-up" for every image she posts.

I interviewed Sandra to learn where these delicate, curious drawings come from.

Well, we certainly should start with your name, and where the handle Trixie Fishstabber came from. Do you spear fish?

Nope, I don't spearfish, but I fish, a lot. And I love making up strange names, usually for others, but one day, Trixie Fishstabber came to me and I instantly knew it was my alter ego, my AKA. Trixie is my mischievous side, she's the one who sneaks in the rear door of the carnival side-show. We have the exact same sense of the absurd, she is a light hearted free bird who loves downtrodden underdogs, anthropomorphism and juxtaposed emotions and hates the mundane...Sandy is the name my friends use, Sandra Ford; if it's all business. The duality is entertaining and efficient, Sandy grows a garden, bakes bread, forages and practices Qi Gong, she is serious and sensitive. It's a good balance.

When and where did you start drawing?

I started drawing in High School. But I did not relegate drawing to just art class, I drew weird cartoons and passed them to my friends in every class and I got into trouble daily and the next day did it all over again. Finally a counselor informed me there was no way I was going to graduate with an A in Art and failing almost every other class. So I quit high school right after that, the decision was a no-brainer. This took place in Southern California.

I know you did some earlier illustration before taking time off to raise a child. How did that sabbatical change your drawings?

Yeah, wow, it is hard to describe what it was like sitting at my drawing table surrounded by all the art supplies I had stockpiled over the years. The day of reckoning; was it still there? Could I get the flow back? Would I be any good? It took nearly a year of continued practice and then it came and what a nice surprise to find how much I had matured, that I had the patience I didn't have before and the patience is what allowed me to fine tune detail and take complexity up a notch. But that first year was frustrating too and extremely overwhelming.

Did you take art classes? You indicate being "self-taught" and I wondered what that expression means to you.

Good question since I recently read through a long forum debate about what 'self-taught' means. The rather arrogant input into that discussion was that you could not have any outside influence what so ever. Well, that's ridiculous, I'm not out to invent crayons or discover a new color and I don't live in a cave... so to me it means I don't have a Masters of Art, I took art in high school. That's it. If I want to oil paint I have to figure it out from square one. I like having that challenge and the freedom is exciting but on the down side, I spend a lot of time in that learning environment making mistakes and sometimes wondering how an art education would have influenced me or more likely, corrupted me.

The "Comic-Con" movement seems huge. Do you see your work fitting into the cartoon and illustrated book movement, or are you rather seeking a "fine-art" place. Is there a difference?

In all honesty, I had to look up Comic-Con. I only had a vague idea of what it encompassed. Hmmm. I suppose my work could fit in that genre, I will have to learn more about it. I really like the idea of illustrating my own weird little book or someone else's. I think I am leaning toward the lowbrow side of fine art. I don't really know, I have had experience working with fine art galleries when I was a curator for a lithographer in Santa Fe and the whole experience left a bad taste. I disdain elitism and the fine art world thrives on it and people make a LOT of money. I don't see myself participating on that level if I want to live with myself and my ideals. So, with an open mind, I reckon I will find a niche most comfortable and obscure, but I am not in any hurry!

Your work, which I find very hard to describe, seems cute but profound, childish but unique, even just plain strange. Where does it come from? These are not real creatures, but they don't have an alien feel either.

The recesses of the mind, somewhere between the right and the left. I call it 'drawing organically' for lack of a better term. I start with an eye and from one eye the creature emerges. It is rare for me to use reference and rarer still that I have any idea of what I am drawing until it is finished. I snicker to myself a lot during the process. If get the same feeling that I had when I was four and went on some of those bizarre children's rides at Disneyland, I know I'm on the right track.

I have read other artists writings about the subconscious flow, some of them think they are tapping into universal energy. I don't know about that, maybe it's just about shutting up some of the left brain to get into a quiet trance akin to meditation. I ponder it frequently especially when I draw something I know I did not know how to draw before, and I just did it like it was no big deal. It is incredibly mysterious, it's a city built of curiosities and populated with idiot savants, kinda fun but scary. It's where weirdos hang out in Detroit warehouses and try to force feed ice cream to their hapless and stupid looking victims... it's almost insane to try to pinpoint anything about it.

Sandra Ford communicates at TRIXIEFISHSTABBER HERE, the artist's blog. She currently sells available work her online ETSY shop HERE.

Sandra Ford (Trixiefishstabber) Drawings 2010 ( A, E, F, G) Collection Jim Linderman
Sandra Ford (Trixiefishstabber) Drawings 2010 (B, C, D) Collection of the Artist

How to Make Your Own COMET and Fly It!

The Comet Model Airplane and Supply Company was probably responsible for more envy among depression era kids than anything other than a square meal. The kits were wood. Priced at 50 cents or less at a time when even a Buffalo Nickel was hard to come by, I am sure even the catalogs were prized. I also suspect many an enterprising young man was proud as can be of his own flying machine constructed with painstaking care.

Nancy Kapitanoff's father was a salesman for the company in 1933, the same year these catalog images were produced. At the time, could there have been any other better job? He somehow had the foresight to bring a MOVIE CAMERA along with him as he traveled from miniature air shows to company meetings. Nancy has produced a documentary created from her father's historical material. The site HERE for her film "The Comet Model News" provides some magical clips of these balsa beauties being flown a mere few years after Lindbergh captured the nation.

CAMERA CLUB GIRLS

Bettie Page from the Rear by Rudolph Rossi Circa 1955 Original Photograph Hand-Painted by the Photographer (Cropped)

High-quality art prints of selected original images from the book Camera Club Girls: Bettie Page, her Friends and the Work of Rudolph Rossi available!

For Information see the Artslant shop for Dull Tool Dim Bulb Editions

Camera Club Girls

Bettie Page and her...

By Jim Linderman

Book Preview

Things to be Happy For, and Extraordinary Comic Book Placement

I know the economy is sinking deeper than Mel Gibson's and Lindsay Lohan's butts on a casting couch, but there are still a billion things to be thankful for, and one of the greatest is "Things you Never Knew Existed" the slogan of Johnson Smith and Company. Officially, Johnson Smith is a Mail-Order Retailer, but then so are those jerks who pitch "HeadON" "ActiveON" and several other really expensive placebos, but at least Johnson Smith products work. Some day I'll do a post on HeadON but until then I'll just keep it as my ring tone. I love it when someone calls me while I'm in the library.


Oh wait...Johnson Smith also sells a product known as "Anti-Gray Hair" pills and "Anti-Wrinkle Capsules" so I spoke too soon, but at least they had the good taste to spin off the "Health" aids category into a separate catalog known as "Full of Life."


Johnson Smith has been selling authentic great crap for decades. I'm not sure if the above examples are still available...after all, fake fighting roosters don't stay on the shelf for long...but at one time their catalog was over 500 pages, so there are plenty of things still as good.


How great is Johnson Smith? Well, they had the prescient good taste to advertise in Action Comics #1. You know, the one which introduced Superman, a copy of which once sold for over one million dollars? They might not have reached the audience they were after with that "super-media placement" but they are sure reaching the "upscale" market with it now. They also had an ad in the comic which first introduced Batman. Now that is a good sponsor, but if anyone does come upon those original ads now, it will be with white gloves and tweezers.


In several years, the company will celebrate 100 years of business on these shores. They started off selling rubber stamps, but check their website and wiki article...to say they branched out is like saying Proctor and Gamble is diversified.


Plus, according to their website they are HIRING. (Well...they have a few jobs listed from prior to the recession) So don't go flocking there like gold rush tenderfoots or Oakies looking for gold paved streets ...write first. They are a Mail-Order Company, after all. Throw the also failing post office a bone and buy some gags!

Los Angeles Cult Murder and Mayhem 75 Years Before Charlie Manson

Aieee! A pair of related religious nuts, and dangerous ones at that. Shown here is Mrs. May Otis Blackburn and Ruth Angeline Wieland A.K.A Ruth Rizzio. Tell me, did you ever hear of the Divine Order of the Royal Arms of the Great Eleven? No? Count your blessings.

This mother and daughter team of freaky prophets attracted over 100 converts to the same neck of the woods as Charlie Manson 75 years earlier, and it appears they baked at least one of them to death.

Let's start with the Angels. No, not the baseball team, nor the ones who flutter down in white feathered wings to grant wishes. I mean the "Angel Michael" who spoke to May in 1922 while Ruth was working as a taxi dancer (read "hooker"?) and dictated to her "The Lamb's Book of Life." It took 42 months. I presume Ruth helped but took time off for a few close, slow dances with Mr. Lonely Heart, but that is a guess. It must have been a good book, for soon Ruth had 100 cult members living with them a stone's throw from where Charlie would set up camp decades later. What is it about the Santa Susanna mountains? I don't know if Charlie had an agenda other than sending hippie chicks out on murderous creeps and touching off a race war... but this mother and daughter team of gospel grifters seemed only to be seeking God's reward on earth! However, like the Mansonites, the cult did dance around naked.

You can wiki up the Blackburn Cult and A good account of the sleazy sect is found HERE


A Post also on old time religion the BLOG

The Carnival is Here

A few snaps, Michigan 2010 Jim Linderman

Al Jaffee Comics Mad Magazine and a Blog Post which Sucks

Did your parents allow you to read Mad Magazine? Not that it would have mattered, I'd have stolen them anyway, but as you might be able to tell, mine did.

Al Jaffee was one of their prominent cartoonists. Still is! Amazingly, only one issue of Mad since 1964 has failed to include an original drawing by Mr. Jaffee. He has been a regular there for 55 years. Al invented the back cover "fold-in" and on his 85th birthday, Stephen Colbert satirized them (and honored Al) by showing a giant fold-in which revealed the phrase "Al, you are old." I hate to say it, but I think subconsciously Al Jaffee had more influence on me than all my teachers and sunday school lessons combined.

This post isn't about Jaffee really, it is about ideas, invention, commerce and the straw. Just like life gives you lemons and you make lemonade, I'm going to make something out of the straw.

Now I do not know when the "sip-top" was invented, nor who owns the patent for it. Jaffe drew this cartoon for a Mad Magazine number 275 which was published in 1983. It ran in a feature entitled "Low Tech Inventions for Everyday Needs" and was intended to be satire. He called it the "Hip No-Drip Sipper." A good gag...People DRINKING IN THEIR CARS!!! HA HA HA! Imagine THAT!

I think Al should have sent his drawing to the Patent Office rather than Mad.


Original Drawing by Al Jaffee, with Acetate Overlay 1983 Collection Jim Linderman

C-Monster Art Book Contest Jim Linderman

C-MONSTER The premier contemporary Art Blog in New York City is running a contest with the prize being FREE copies of several of my books! All you need to do is comment and the most (or least) clever WINS. While there, bookmark the site. Not only is it the best survey of the New York Art Scene (and frequent jaunts elsewhere) there is attitude a plenty with serious, unique criticism, and the links alone are essential. DO NOW.


C-Mon Giveaway Extravaganza Girls Girls Girls Edition HERE

It Rains, It Pours

Take Me to the Water: Immersion Baptism in Vintage Music and Photographs by Jim Linderman, Luc Sante and Lance Ledbetter was awarded "Best Historical Reissue Pre-War" by Living Blues 2010. An Honor! Copies available at right, or from Dust to Digital

Masks of the Dead B-list Stars

BOY, there was big time entertainment around the house when the Norge 4 star review life-sized masks arrived! Jack Carson (sour comedian) Ed Wynn (Fey voice man) Danny Thomas (Father of Marlo, who had a normal nose) and Jimmy Durante (Who didn't)

I'm not sure who invented the notion of the "B-list" actor but I am now pretty sure it was in 1951. Anytime you require FOUR hosts to carry one show, you might rethink the concept. It certainly was being applied early on the "Out of the World Revue Show" which was to air every week on NBC. The Reverse of each mask, once constructed, contains an entire hilarious monologue by the "Star" written in their own inimitable style!

There appears to have been about 20 shows which ran from 1951 to 1953. The Show had more names than sponsors..."All Star Revue, Four Star Revue" and the already mentioned Out of this World. The material was written by Bob Schiller, who earns no mask...but at least one of his credits is writing for Flip Wilson, 30 episodes exactly 30 years later. Everyone needs to start somewhere, and is he finished with Flip, he did OK.

One show had, Jimmy Vey, the DANCING XYLOPHONE PLAYER! Dammit...THAT'S the mask I was hoping to get!


Four Norge Appliance masks and some funky smelling Mold. Circa 1951
Collection Jim Linderman

Dull Tool Dim Bulb Art Photography Blogs Reach ONE HALF MILLION Clicks

The group of blogs under the Dull Tool Dim Bulb umbrella will reach 500,000 hits this weekend. The counter was installed August 9, 2009.

Tumblr...The Greatest Stunt of ALL! Internet Jobs Rant Tumblr The Depression and Stunts Stunts Stunts RPPC

We are clearly in a major and permanent depression, as the internet has replaced every job which required manufacturing, boxing, stocking, racking, packaging, shipping, typesetting, retrieving records, printing, filing, directing phone calls, ringing up prices (bar codes) and even advertising agencies. (A monkey can purchase click-ads with selected market parameters)

We seem about a year away from selling apples on the street, and I don't mean Ipods. I hear reporters over and over again say "when the jobs come back" and I wonder, have you EVER heard a commentator say "We are losing jobs because of the internet?" I suspect it is because they don't want to spread bad news.

When I shop at the grocery store, I leave my empty cart askew somewhere in the back forty of the parking lot simply because I know the company will have to hire at least one kid to bring it back.

I recently looked up some information on the most recent internet success story of late, Tumblr. Tumblr has 3 million users, gains 15,000 more every day, and the system handles 15 million posts a week. Guess how many employees Tumblr has? Go ahead....guess.

ELEVEN.

That's right. One of the most successful internet launches in years, and the company has eleven employees total. TOTAL. They created a huge population of folks who steal photos and help build their content, but they sure aren't paying any of them. Even if Tumblr announced "a major hiring flurry" of, oh...let's say ten percent they would only increase the staff to 12.

So how come we don't see pole sitters, sky dancers, waterfall walkers or dance marathoners anymore? When I pass a fellow with a sign reading "will work for food" I often wonder why he isn't laying on a bed of nails or living on a billboard for a month.

My guess is regulation and such...to set the world's longest record for goldfish eating today, you would probably need insurance and a permit.

Here is an assortment from the glory days of stunts. Click to Enlarge.
All Original Photographs and Real Photo Post Cards Collection Jim Linderman

Jim Linderman Articles on Artslant

Link to Linderman 2010 articles HERE

Zallah Knows...But No One Knows Zallah! Psychic claptrap from a Medium Skilled Medium

When I read a non-fiction book about times in the early 1970s, as I have just done, (A true tale of rural Texas when kids were just starting to learn about popping pills) I am astounded at how much credence was given to psychics at the time. I am especially surprised as I thought they had done been debunked decades earlier.

I mean, how stupid... ehh. I give-up. I even have folks around here who believe Glenn Beck.
I give up.

So here is Zallah. An Uri Geller in Drag. A schmatta wearing female fraud. Years ago I learned the way these con-men in skirts make their living is by limping along on the dollar or two stolen from grieving widows, troubled husbands, lonely wives...all while waiting for the one BIG score which usually meant the "go to your bank and draw out your available funds" gambit. (A cop told me this...He said they usually go three or four months in between real scores, and when they hit, the daughter or son takes over the business while they go to Florida and bask a while)

Zallah here appears to have slipped town with her ill-gotten gains. Certainly she is on her way to greener pastures of plenty. There is nothing on the web about this criminal. If I could conjure up some dirt, you would certainly get it. One thing I know...when they took Zallah's fingerprints, be Zallah man or woman...they also got Zallah's real name. Unfortunately, I do not have it.

Zallah! The Woman with the Penetrating Eyes! Tradecard, circa 1930 Collection Jim Linderman

Conway Twitty Turducken Topped with Fruit! Horrors in Wax #15 The Terrible Taste of the Twitty Burger!

This is the 15th "Horror in Wax" I have posted. Some of you may think I have been running out of wax statues to disrespect, but not to worry, I've been holding Twitty in reserve. Wax Conway is shown here along with Wax Loretta, who is a saint I will not besmirch.

Twitty was really Harold Lloyd Jenkins, named after the silent film comic, and if you finish this post, you'll be laughing like the front-row at one of his flicks.

Actually, I am a fan of Conway Twitty as well, since he had the good taste to let a 17-year old Levon Helm play drums for him some 60 years ago. Twitty was raised near Levon's home in Turkey Scratch. Helena, Arkansas, holy ground for the meeting of Blues and Hillbilly music, being the original site of the King Biscuit Flour Hour Radio Show. But it is Twitty's LACK of taste this post is about.

Twitty had over 50 number one hits on the country charts. FIFTY. A record broken only by George Strait, another great singer I suspect less than 1 in 1000 New York City residents could name.

My main concern here is...TWITTY BURGER! Way ahead of his time, Mr. Twitty had another potential mine as gold as the most golden record...a hamburger topped with bacon. Yep...40 years before every chain today relentlessly promotes their killer bacon fatburgers on childrens TV, Conway was hoping to clog our veins with his own invention, but his had a special festive taste twist. Each Twitty burger was to come with a GRAHAM CRACKER CRUSTED PINEAPPLE RING on it. That's right. Straight from the land of fluffernutters, Twitty was able to persuade his friends to invest $100,000 each in his plan to cover the nation with hamburgers smothered in fruit from Hawaii.

As you would expect, (and as one day the turducken influenced KFC Double-Down will as well) the Twitty burger died a quick death. In a complicated legal battle with Uncle Sam, Conway was tried for fraud and such over the financing of the franchise, but he had the good fortune to draw a judge who loved the singer. The judge not only found in Twitty's favor, he sang Twitty a song he wrote for him after reading the verdict. All true in Wax Hell.

To read all the Horrors in Wax posts, click the blue subject heading below.

Wax Museum postcard collection Jim Linderman