Dr. Miles may tell the jokes, but the joke is on you. The man responsible for lauded legend "Miles Laboratories" was a snake oil salesman who gave away these real knee-slappers in order to advertise his "Nervine" for "spasms, fits and St. Vitus' dance" all which are bad enough for you to seek a cure. You'll grab for anything, even Dr. Miles Nervine which was also good for hysteria, sleeplessness and the blues.
It was so strong, it ALMOST made the jokes funny.
Actually, as the recipe for Nervine seems to have disappeared like liver spots after a tonic, I had to dig around a bit. Nervine was made out of Bromine, a product today used in pesticides and as a gasoline additive. Ask the Tea Party if we need the FDA. You know? I wonder if that nutty Dr. Rand Paul found his Dad's supply back in a Kentucky shed. His official photo here certainly looks like he got in the medicine chest..that is a relaxed expression if I ever saw one.
Miles made money on Nervine, of course, but the big bucks came when their bubbly mixture Alka-Seltzer™ had the good fortune of being introduced around the same time Prohibition was repealed. Do you have any idea how many hangovers have been created since 1931?
Miles Labs ran from 1884 to 1979...when Bayer AG bought it in order to acquire another miracle cure, Flintstones™ vitamins! Yes, Miles was famous for foisting Flintstones™ vitamins on the kids. "Here.. eat a DINO, you'll feel better and pills are always good for you."
In 1995, Bayer AG removed all references to Miles on their products, as the population who remembered getting drunk on Nervine were all dead by then.
Here Mrs. Shatwell (SHATWELL? Are you sure this isn't a testimonial for laxatives?) provides stirring evidence her insanity was cured by a Miles product.
Wait a minute...do I need to put a ™ after Shatwell? It is available? GREAT. Call my lawyer pronto!
Also shown here is Mrs. Love from Wigger Street, who drank NINE bottles.
Now as for Nervine? It is today a generic term for anything which affects the nerves. You'll find all manner of wacky natural herb concoctions claiming to do it, including stalwarts of medicine such as Skullcap, Desert Pulsatilla, Western Moonwort, Monkeyflower and Golden Smoke.
Dr. Miles Joke Book No Date Collection Jim Linderman
DULL TOOL DIM BULB BOOKS AND eBOOKS BY JIM LINDERMAN CATALOG HERE
Chiropractic "medicine" is controversial still after all these years for a reason. It isn't science. It isn't even bad science. I have always suspected it had more to do with manipulating one's wallet than manipulating one's spine, and most serious scientists, doctors, scholars and legal professionals will agree with me. Yet it persists like chronic pain, bilking pain sufferers now for 100 years.
Since we recently had an election where candidates who deny evolution, climate change and even the legitimacy of social security not only were on the ballot but WON is an indication of how gullible a good percent of our population is...and since several bloated "entertainers" on the radio continue to line their pockets while spewing nonsense as news, things will only continue to get worse. Let's face it...the windbags (one with a crazy brush cut and chalkboard, the other an obese joke who avoided jail after doctor shopping for his Oxycontin addiction) have a hold of hundreds of radio stations, just like so many quacks of the past. And just like the earier generation of quacks, they blanket huge swatches of the country like a blizzard of bile and bilk.
In fact, the quack who invented Chiropractic "science" was a quack with a radio station. Like Dr. Brinkley, who planted goat gonads into people to cure their libidos, D. D. Palmer and his nutty son "B.J." factored in a radio station to broadcast their crazy ideas. BJ's station was WOC (by strange coincidence the station Ronald Reagan would later lie the sports news on) which stood for Wonders Of Chiropractic. Guess who fills the time slots on WOC now? I don't have to tell you.
D.D invented chiropractic after failing to get rich off his first "scientific" discovery, magnetic healing. Now THAT is a strong foundation for your research.
Anyway, the point of this story is Crazy B.J. Palmer and his "Little Bit of Heaven" shown above. Can the story get any stranger? Well, BJ (who once ran over his father with a car contributing to his death...can you hear the bones cracking?) fancied himself an art aficionado. In fact he had an enormous collection put together on the fortune built from bone tugging...including a gigantic collection of phallic symbols, totem poles and salon nudes. Maybe B.J should have invented a cure for impotence instead of stretching limbs. Lil' Bit O Heaven was built to show off the tons of useless bric-a-brac he lugged home from his world travels. Among the live alligators and fertility objects on display, he added trite platitudes to the good, honest and healthy life he advocated along with his insane ideas of medical care.
I swear...what a country.
To learn more about B.J Palmer's Grotto of Greed see the sources highlighted.
Little Bit O Heaven real photo postcard circa 1920 Collection Jim Linderman
NOTE: I've been getting lots of mail from Chiropractic practitioners (not surprising since "marketing" is one of most intensive classes in the school of chiropractic stuff, another fact, look it up) I refer ANYONE who is either interested in, or disputes ANY PART of my essay above to consult the reasoned and detailed Wikipedia article on same...which is not only well-researched...to be fair upon reading I find I could have actually been far, far harder on both the "profession" AND those who pay for the services. At least I didn't refer to it as an "unscientific cult" as others have, but I would clearly been on solid ground if I had! If it helps anyone, fine, great...but as you can see in the article and the references cited...I'm far from alone. In fact, I seem to have been more than generous. Keep those cards and letters coming anyway!
