Dr. Miles may tell the jokes, but the joke is on you. The man responsible for lauded legend "Miles Laboratories" was a snake oil salesman who gave away these real knee-slappers in order to advertise his "Nervine" for "spasms, fits and St. Vitus' dance" all which are bad enough for you to seek a cure. You'll grab for anything, even Dr. Miles Nervine which was also good for hysteria, sleeplessness and the blues.
It was so strong, it ALMOST made the jokes funny.
Actually, as the recipe for Nervine seems to have disappeared like liver spots after a tonic, I had to dig around a bit. Nervine was made out of Bromine, a product today used in pesticides and as a gasoline additive. Ask the Tea Party if we need the FDA. You know? I wonder if that nutty Dr. Rand Paul found his Dad's supply back in a Kentucky shed. His official photo here certainly looks like he got in the medicine chest..that is a relaxed expression if I ever saw one.
Miles made money on Nervine, of course, but the big bucks came when their bubbly mixture Alka-Seltzer™ had the good fortune of being introduced around the same time Prohibition was repealed. Do you have any idea how many hangovers have been created since 1931?
Miles Labs ran from 1884 to 1979...when Bayer AG bought it in order to acquire another miracle cure, Flintstones™ vitamins! Yes, Miles was famous for foisting Flintstones™ vitamins on the kids. "Here.. eat a DINO, you'll feel better and pills are always good for you."
In 1995, Bayer AG removed all references to Miles on their products, as the population who remembered getting drunk on Nervine were all dead by then.
Here Mrs. Shatwell (SHATWELL? Are you sure this isn't a testimonial for laxatives?) provides stirring evidence her insanity was cured by a Miles product.
Wait a minute...do I need to put a ™ after Shatwell? It is available? GREAT. Call my lawyer pronto!
Also shown here is Mrs. Love from Wigger Street, who drank NINE bottles.
Now as for Nervine? It is today a generic term for anything which affects the nerves. You'll find all manner of wacky natural herb concoctions claiming to do it, including stalwarts of medicine such as Skullcap, Desert Pulsatilla, Western Moonwort, Monkeyflower and Golden Smoke.
Dr. Miles Joke Book No Date Collection Jim Linderman
DULL TOOL DIM BULB BOOKS AND eBOOKS BY JIM LINDERMAN CATALOG HERE
Every picture tells a story, but this one didn't have one for me. I found it at a flea market. It is a small original glossy press photograph dated on the reverse 1951, with a brief note that the hand belonged to one William E. Cook. I never tried to find out who Mr. Cook was, nor why his apparent jail number was written in the margin of the photo. Obviously, his jailhouse tattoo had been embellished with a pen before publication to make the letters, and the drama, more clear...I knew I could find out who he was when I needed to.
Imagine my surprise a few years later coming across a different picture of THE SAME HAND in a book by John Gilmore! John Gilmore is one of those guys who seems to have been everywhere. I mean, everywhere. Name me anyone with a sleazy Hollywood connection from the last 50 years and I'll bet you Gilmore either met them at a party, slept with them or knew their murderer. He met Kerouac. He met Bettie Page. He met James Dean and may have even boffed him. He knew Hank Williams, Janis Joplin, Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, Brigette Bardot, Jean Seberg and Jayne Mansfield. I can't even begin to describe him to you, but if you think James Ellroy is tough, if you thought Hunter S. Thompson had a pair, if you imagine Charles Bukowski let his hang low on the pavement and scrape it a bit with each step... get a load of Gilmore. There are a half-dozen books and I have read them all. Real books though...his work is too good and graphic for Kindle.
Gilmore's Wiki entry calls him a Gonzo Journalist. True, but you might find his official website a bit more entertaining. This is some dark stuff, my friends. Be fearless...Gilmore is.
By the way, the hand gets its own page on Gilmore's site, it was indeed Billy Cook's claw and he was a no good drifter. The site has an excerpt...and leads you to Gilmore's other books. You are warned.
Anonymous Press Photograph, embellished by hand, 1951 Collection Jim Linderman
