Quote and Credit

Quote and Credit

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Clarence Herbert Woolston Unsung Hero of Song and Object Jesus Loves the Children


I'm not all about satire, and neither should be any questioning soul...there ARE some good guys in the Jesus racket, and one of them, nay, one of the greatest and most astounding, is the extraordinary and charming Clarence Herbert Woolston.  How we need this humble man today, and how he makes what passes for our public preachers look like the big walking bags of wind and shame they are.

I am not kidding one little bit.  I may have spent the last five years making fun of bible thumpers on old time religion the blog, where this post originates,  but one man has finally cured my heathen ways.   Although this one man should be at LEAST as famous as Billy Graham's idiot son...he is unknown.   That's right.  A cipher.  Not only forgotten, hardly ever heard of.

Let's start with this: 

The refrain to the greatest children's song of all time:

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
All are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world

Are you humming it in your head?  You should be.  Know who wrote it?  Nope. 

Clarence Herbert Woolston, Doctor of Divinity wrote it.  The rest of the song is HERE along with a lovely, simple piano backing which will allow you to sing along and share it with others.  The fellow above with sideburns and a big cat in his hands. 

Song writers will give up their left nut (or if they have no nuts, a left hand) to write what is known as a "standard" and this is one big glorious standard children love still, but their more racist and unforgiving parents (and politicians) have forgotten.  Seriously...more children have sung this song than Sir Paul's "Yesterday" or Willie Nelson's "Crazy" but how often have you read the phrase "Clarence Herbert Woolston's "Jesus Loves the Little Children?"

I know how often.  You have now read it exactly once.

The equally extraordinary "Bible Object Book" shown here is but one more accomplishment of this dear man history has forgotten.  Each chapter, each PAGE is a delight.  As you can see, my copy cost 49 cents.  Now THAT is a sin.  A HUGE sin when you consider the opening price of, oh, let's see...Sarah Palin's piece of bile was $28.99.  That's right.  Almost thirty bucks for an Alaskan fraud, you shallow and deceived followers.  Thank GOD you can now buy Palin's book used (and unread) starting at ONE PENNY as long as you will pay postage.  True!

Here is an example from Dr. Woolston's book, using as the object a postage stamp, from the chapter titled "The Postage Stamp as a Preacher"

"The postage stamp is a non-combatant.  When it is licked, it does not hit back.  It is a peace-lover."

"The postage stamp does what it is told to do...it does not seek to know the contents of the letter, but to deliver the letter to the party named." 

Lovely.  There are 61 chapters in the book, each one using an everyday object children are familiar with to teach a lesson.  It is not only a teaching tool which is a model of effectiveness, but tolerance and love and it is all told with astounding beautiful and simple prose.

Perhaps we would know more about the book if Woolsey hadn't passed away less than a year after it was published.  Search "Jimmy Swaggart" and you get well over one million hits.  Search "Clarence Herbert Woolston" and you get few indeed, and a good number are used bookstores selling this book.  It is enough to make me cry more than the disgraced buffoon and sinner Jimmy Swaggart...and although that charlatan will sell you HIS music, (boy will he...an entire website is devoted to selling you his music)  they all suck by comparison to Woolston's masterpiece.  In fact, they all suck by comparison to "The Purple People Eater" by Sheb Wooley.  But I love Sheb.

Swaggart, however, should just ship all those CDs directly to the flea market where they belong and will eventually end up...the sooner the better.

Woolston was pastor of the East Baptist Church in Philadelphia.  How lucky were they to have him.  In this picture, Woolston brings a baby bear cub into church to illustrate the sin of stubbornness.  Woolston was also known to use a baby leopard in lectures.  A photo in the book shows his church filled to the rafters, literally, with children craning their necks towards the lectern.

Get this...Woolston also wrote a book Harry Houdini prized.  I'd be honored if Harry Houdini had even browsed a pamphlet of mine, but he had the entire "Seeking Truth: A Book of Object Lessons with Magical and Mechanical Effects"  which is 207 pages of REAL miracles, not the kind faith-healers and charlatans claim to make every day.  Yep.  Woolston also wrote a book in which you can entertain children while performing magic tricks from the Bible.

Now as for all those frauds out there roping folks into their gigantic crusades or evangelistic election schemes...will they ever repent and do some good for a change?  I dunno...can a leopard change his spots?

 In addition to "Jesus Loves the Little Children" Woolston wrote "Penny Object Lessons"   "Seeing Truth"   "The Curiosity Book"  and produced what were known as  the "Seeing Truth Packets"  which were small versions of his notions. 

Pictures from The Bible Object Book by Clarence Herbert Woolston  The Judson Press 1926.  Collection Jim Linderman.

Dull Tool Dim Bulb Books in Print by Jim Linderman are HERE


Folk Art Game Board Radiator Paint Aggravation























A folk art game board made from plywood.  I know, you folk art snobs, plywood is sneered at.  Well, as I have said before, plywood is now an antique  and THEN some.  The earliest plywood is now well over 100 years old.  I'm going to say this is around 1950?  I'm also saying it is Radiator paint and Boy Scout Blue.  A primitive version of the game Aggravation? 

Folk Art Gameboard Collection Jim Linderman

Books and eBooks by Jim Linderman available HERE

Under Canvas and Coming The Lewis Stock Company



















I don't know if the lovely ladies posing here are part of the Lewis Stock company, but they are coming to town.

Original Snapshot, circa 1920? Collection Jim Linderman

Jim Linderman Books and Ebook Downloads are HERE

Tintype with Glasses Hand-Painted Bespeckled Bas Bleu

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A considerable step beyond tinting, and one of those painted tintypes in which the embellishment is far more extraordinary then the sitter.  A Full-Size plate, 6.5" x 8.5 and found in one of those ungodly fat frames which is now in the basement. 

Untitled (Woman with Painted Gold Glasses) circa 1880 Ferrotype Tintype Photograph Collection Jim Linderman

BOOKS AND eBooks by Jim Linderman are available for purchase HERE

The Little Girl Who Invented the Hot Dog (Holiday Special Dull Tool Dim Bulb)

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Just in time for your holiday cookout, Dull Tool Dim Bulb presents the origin of the Hot Dog!  Share it over the campfire.

Real Photo Postcard 1948  Huntington Indiana Collection Jim Linderman

SEE DULL TOOL DIM BULB BOOKS AND EBOOKS HERE

The Nuts and Bolts of Apothecary Cabinets Folk Art Primitive Decor

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So desirable for that comfy country decor, you'll see what are called  "apothecary cabinets"  in upscale shows, shelter magazine spreads and increasingly being reproduced in that horrible fake milk paint "antique while you wait" primitive style seen in shops full of potpourri.  If I walk into an antique shop met with waves of "fragrance" I usually figure it is there to mask a recent paint smell.   I feign enough interest to be polite, get in the car, cross the divider and pee at the fast food joint.  I hate that fake country crap.  The style comes in and out of vogue, especially when we are emerging from an economic downturn and folks want to feel honest, homey and authentic again.

Apothecary chests are usually nothing more than guys hardware holders anyway, like this one I found yesterday.   Dealers call them apothecary chests as the notion of potions being stored and retrieved by the country doctor is a good selling point, but truth is these things held dad's screws and washers as often as secret cures and chemicals.

Here is one I found yesterday.  It came of the "distressed" surface from work in the basement, not a furniture factory...and certainly not from old Doc Bones at the general store.


Nuts and Bolts Holder circa 1940?  33 drawers, 55 inches long.  Collection Jim Linderman 

See Dull Tool Dim Bulb Books and eBooks in print HERE

Perp Walk Press Photograph 1928 Collection Jim Linderman

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Pictures DO lie.  Heavily embellished and cropped Press Photograph 1928.  Murderer "hustled to a train" on his way to prison.  

Original photograph by unidentified Press Photographer N.E.A 1928 Collection Jim Linderman

Buster Brown Dummy Board with Children


I don't know how these girls got their hands on a Buster Brown stand-up figure, but they didn't get his dog Tige.  Tige was a pitbull, and he is recognized as the first talking comic strip character, but he is missing.

There actually was a Buster Brown...a spoiled little brat just like this winking fellow here who shilled shoes to children from 1902 on.  The real Buster was on Granville Hamilton Fisher.  I don't know why Granville didn't play Buster on Broadway, but they found a PROFESSIONAL brat to do that, a 21 years old little person named Master Gabriel, AKA Gabriel Weigel. 

The four young women are identified on the reverse.  Buster is not.

Original snapshot, no date (1925?)  Collection Jim Linderman

Linderman Books and Ebooks are HERE

Lorry on Mother's Day


ALL greeting cards should be homemade, and that goes for "e-cards" too...if you love someone enough to send them a card, love them enough to MAKE them one yourself.  Platitudes and stock phrases from card companies mean nothing.  Your own thoughts do.  

Handmade Mother's day card from Lorry.  No date.  Collection Jim Linderman

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Dr. Goss's Cornstock Band Handmade Folk Art Instruments RPPC

I am afraid I found nothing on Dr. Goss or his Cornstock Band, but if  you enlarge this to see the handmade musical instruments, let your eyes drive over to the gunboats the woman on the right has on her feet!  

Dr. Goss's Cornstock Band Real Photo Postcard No Date 1900?  Collection Jim Linderman

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The Skaggs say Pay 'n Takit Tuscon Arizona

I guess what we see here is the story of retail food and big business.  Pay 'n Takit in Tuscon, AZ was obviously Pay 'n Takit number 20 in the chain.  Safeway bought out Lorenzo Skaggs, the owner of Pay 'n Takit in 1928.  Another member of the Skaggs dynasty was one Pepper Oscar Skaggs.  How do you get the name Pepper Oscar Skaggs?

Pay 'n Takit food store  Buehman Photograph, Arizona  Circa 1920?  8 x 10 photo collection Jim Linderman



The Tawdry Origins of Glamour Photography Proto Porn the Book





During the 1950s, under the ruse of "Art Studies" and "Figure Studies" businessman skirted the law publishing hundreds of digest-sized primitive camera art photographs of nearly nude women. Seldom dated, by somewhat disreputable publishers, the digests featured burlesque dancers and models such as Bettie Page in makeshift studios, and were among the first books to challenge censorship and the conventions of the times as it related to photographs of the female form. The tawdry origins of Glamour Photography! The booklets are today scarce and seldom seen. Dubbed Proto-Porn, over 100 have been collected in book form by the first time by Jim Linderman. Proto-Porn details the publishers and addresses the conflicting notions of art and nudity of the Eisenhower years. Colorful, disreputable and quasi-legal, the books nonetheless pre-date modern-day fashion and nude photography. Tame by any standard today, the books have not been shown in over 50 years, and never before collected in a book.

The book PROTO-PORN : THE ART FIGURE STUDY SCAM OF THE 1950s is available as a $5.99 ebook download for iPad or Paperback HERE

Ladies and Gentlemen The New Book I'm With Dummy Vent Figures and Blockheads







I'm With Dummy Vent Figures and Blockheads Vintage Photographs from the Jim Linderman Collection is the newest book from Dull Tool Dim Bulb.

Real Photo Postcards, Snapshots, Polaroids and more!  Amateurs and professionals, anonymous and not, the story here is the figure.  Vents!

78 pages and available as a paperback ($21.95) or Ebook for ipad ($5.99) only from Blurb.com.

FREE PREVIEW and ORDERING IS HERE!

An Auction Photograph worth Auctioning off. C.G.Bradley and C.C. ONeil Auction House Collection Jim Linderman


Now here is a fellow who knows how to open a business, or at least celebrate his new job.  It is C. G. Bradley, standing on the side proudly as every street urchin he could round up helps him announce the big auction!  I am surmising Bradley was a recent immigrant, hence the ultra-patriotic flag tableau.  Proud of his job and his place in America. The fourth of July was in a few weeks, so flags were in stock around town.  Chicago.  The photo is dated June 14, 1904.  C.G. identifies himself as "Auctioneer, Salesman and Advertising" on the reverse.  Some of the kids are identified as someone's daughters, and the chumps at the door are probably the mugs who hold up the things for sale and berate you into bidding.

Original Photograph 1904  Collection Jim Linderman

Jim Linderman and Dull Tool Dim Bulb Books and Ebooks are HERE.  All Downloads $5.99.


Wood Man with Saw Sawn From Wood Folk Art

The last time I wrote about chainsaw carvers, I received hate mail from a chainsaw carver!  Now I didn't see those slasher and slicer movies, but I do NOT want to piss off anyone with a chainsaw this time.  So let's just say this is something for the contemporary chainsaw artist to aspire to.

Believe it or not, the chainsaw was invented back in 1785!  Jeepers!  That seems to be a long time to perfect the craft, and I will let others debate whether the craft IS an art this time.  This is a good carving, no matter how it was done.  I think it is art.


Real Photo Postcard, 1936.  Garden City Grange Fair Collection Jim Linderman