Mr. Teeter Finds a Drift Card. Giant Fish DNA Asian Carp, Mistakes in the Great Lakes and Exaggeration Postcards
I have nothing against my friends in Chicago except for a huge, disgusting invasive species known as the Asian Carp. Able to jump large boats in a single bound. In fact, during fishing contests, they often do just that, literally giving themselves up by plopping their gross girth right into the hull. That isn't all they do...bigger eaters than Joey Chestnut at Coney Island after a fast (look him up) they deplete any water they occupy of the good fish...leaving you forced to make a decision. Do I stop eating fish? Or do I adapt and start rolling that ugly water dinosaur into corn meal.
Seriously, man...pictures of those giant goldfish look like exaggeration postcards from the 1950s. They'll grow to four feet on our delicious sport fish!
So far, as near as I can tell, an electric barrier (a bug-zapper for fish!) has been installed to keep the river monsters away...but some carp DNA has slipped through...Ewwww! Around here there are signs on lawns reading "NO MISTAKE IN THE LAKE" and though they refer to the fat, scaly Mylopharyngoden, they always make me think of something I did in the lake as a kid.
Michigan is attempting to force some Illinois rivers and canals to zip it up. Some of them appear to be trying to sneak through near Calumet (a city once known for sin, drugs and strippers)
So anyway, speaking of postcards, here is a nice one. A note sent to Mr. Roy Teeter way back in 1958. Mr. Teeter found a message in a bottle! Apparently walking near the shoreline, he found what is known as a "drift card" released by the Great Lakes Fishery Investigations several years earlier. He was rewarded with this note acknowledging his fine fishy find!
President Obama has appointed a "fish czar" to monitor the situation. I hope they keep an eye on things, or the fake fish postcards of the past will have to show BIGGER fake fish.
"Drift card note" to Roy Teeter, 1958 collection Jim Linderman
Salesman Sample "Freak Fish" postcard circa 1950 collection Jim Linderman